waiting & fading

Good news: you dont hate me, and we kinda talk
Bad news: I think you're mad at me again.

Im sick of this up and down, knowing and not knowing.
Im slightly glad I dont see your life on Facebook.
But I cant help but think you're liking her more than
me, again. That kills me but there is nothing I can do.
I wish we were still the way we were, but we're not.
I hate the fact I still love you, and wish I could talk
about you and to you all the time. I hate the fact I drive
myself crazy over you, and constantly write here about
you. But I know you wont see it here, though secretly
I want you to. I'm learning to shut up, but slowly.

I still wish your blue eyes looked at mine & with love.